Grieving The Old Self 101

Saying Goodbye To Who You Were

So pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me, I'll never be the same

Pardon Me - Incubus

As this path is every unfolding for all of us on this planet, we call earth I think it’s important to point out we shed many layers of ourselves through the years. This isn’t a new concept I am coming into since I was raised in the same program as everyone else where when you are a kid you act one way, as you grow into a teenager you are warned of turning into a hormonal monster and so on and so forth.

I find myself needing to express the reality of shedding parts of yourself that do not align with your highest potential or timeline. There is a grief in this process that I feel gets overlooked and pushed underneath the surface. I’ve found a lot of toxic positivity in the “new new age” movement running rampant across everyone’s feed.

When you find yourself in the same group of people but can’t connect or comment the way you once did it makes you feel like something is wrong with you.

Where does this disconnect coming from?

When you find yourself outgrowing hobbies or routines that at one time served you in a manner but now seems to feel like a hollow shell of distraction or routine, you ask again where is this disconnection or dissatisfaction coming from?

From my own experience I have noticed my newer self coming into reality while parts of my old self are fading away. My human self is residing in some gray area I feel I am under prepared for. There are hobbies or friendships I’d like to continue but it just doesn’t fit with the new vibrational shift I am experiencing.

The other day I found myself in front of people that used to be a big part of my everyday life and now we meet up once and awhile to hang. Our older connections were spent staying up late on my porch talking for hours about infinite topics.

Now it’s dwindled down in a way where I find myself asking if anything went wrong in our friendship to where we don’t play such big roles in each other’s lives.

But nothing negative has happened it’s simply a shift in all of our lives and we are following our own energy and connecting with things on our wavelength.

Maybe at one time I saw myself having these friends be a staple in my day-to-day life but as time goes on, I also see our futures diverting to distance friends who support each other from a distance.

There is a grief in that connection that I need to acknowledge and process for myself. I find my human emotions want to try and fill the empty space with reasons why distance would grow between loved ones but it’s simply just the progression of life.

There is a feeling that needs to rise to the surface in all things we let go of to help us understand what the full experience was for in our lives so we can let go of it completely and let the Divine do its job.

So grieving the old self and why it’s important?

If you find yourself understanding frequency, vibration and even the occasional energetic shift in yourself you will also realize that emotions are centered just around the human perspective and not attached to the higher self. So if your higher self is coming in to guide you it can whisper words of encouragement and even lend a hand at understanding what is possibly going on.

Most of the genius minds of our time have all hinted to finding the answers to our problems or questions in silence. We are bombarded all day long with distractions nonstop to pull us away from ourselves. Most of us in our busy lives feel like we don’t have time to center ourselves. And if you find yourself not even knowing yourself stay tuned for Self-Love 101 to really point back to looking in the mirror. It sure is a trip on psychedelics but it’s even trippier sober staring at the person you don’t recognize in the mirror whose been making all your life decisions.

So step one is finding time to sit with just yourself and process what is happening inside of you. Call it meditation or just me time if you’d like. I think you will find clarity in just giving yourself time to breathe without immediately being taken from task to task.

The next step that I feel is on everyone’s blog sight or instruction is writing out your perspective. Call it a journal entry or just jotting down instrospective notes, whatever needs to come out of your brain write it down. In this overly corrective world I know I am not alone in saying I have to constantly edit myself before I even speak. We cast so much judgment on ourselves in the speaking world we forget we are also judging our internal world harshly. So I’ve found writing whatever you need to write out on paper gives you freedom from judging yourself so harshly.

You might even find you like the voice in your head narrating the story you decide to spill out on the page. I’ve written for years and have found so much sanctuary and writing out the depths of the darkest part of my soul on paper. After it’s over I find myself lighter.

Are you scared to write for fear someone will find it? Besides my first response of telling, you to get a lock box to keep yourself safe from those eyes I could recommend you can do a lovely burning session with what you wrote. I do not need a lock box in my life, but I have found myself purging layers of myself I do not wish to reflect on in a later date and have made myself sit down and burn these pages away.

I recommend you try it for yourself and see how freeing it is to let go of things that no longer serve you. I’ve also sat in front of my fireplace and written down every label placed upon me in my life along with every limiting belief I come up on and burn them with all the love I can muster up.

An example of labels I have burned over the last few years goes as follows:

Friend, Sister, Daughter, Mother, Cousin, Aunt etc. etc.

those are the lighter labels we use to describe relationship to others, moving down the rabbit hole I write a list of offensive names people have cast on me over the years and continue to write them out until I feel them release from my body.

As we all have limiting beliefs the sentences get longer and deeper of what we are really holding onto in our back programming that could be hindering our conscious pursuits.

I am not enough

I am not worthy

I am too old

Love must be earned

Etc. Etc.

Write those very vulnerable things down on a piece of paper and burn the heck out of that paper and remember who you really are.

A particle of light wrapped up in an incredible meat suit flying into infinite nothingness we also call outer space.

If that doesn’t humble you, I don’t know what could at this point. Maybe by just reminding you that you are not the thoughts in your head, you are simply the observer of your thoughts. You are highly programmable but that also means you can climb back in the driver’s seat and program yourself.

As I wrap this article up, I will once again leave you with the introspective lyrics of Incubus to inspire you into the next project of your life.

“Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I, I can't help but ask myself how much

I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer

It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal
But lately, I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel”

Drive - Incubus

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